Being loser

I had a chance to meet some of my friends from Primary school years recently. Attended the wedding dinner and ceremony in KL. I've not been in close contact with them for more than 10 years. I was the odd one out as I've been separated from them after primary years whereas the rest of them went on to the same Secondary school.

It was with the widespread of Facebook and the online networking that we're once again in touch. We have also met up a couple of times during my visit to KL for the past 1 or 2 years.

How does it feel to be surrounded once again by people whom, at one point of my life are my fellow classmates? I find that people grow up, physically (a lot since 12years old!) and mentally. People changed. They have made achievements in life; having a professional career, managing multiple shop branch around the country, traveling the world for the company they work for, some married with kids, etc...

I find myself comparing, maybe I should not, but I did compare with them. I feel small among them 'adults', feel as if I'm still a kid still not growing up. What have I achieve so far? Do I have a promising career? Am I in a strong financial ground? I feel like I am that guy, Ryan Bingham (George Clooney) in Up In the Air. Everybody grew up, but not him, he lives in his own sweet world.

What I want to do with my life 5 or 10 years down the road? I seriously have no idea. What do I plan to do about that? Nothing. I stand by my believe that life is short, enjoy it while can. I don't know when my time will be up. Planning something 5 years into the future may not be wise coz 2012 will be the end of the world (according to the movie 2012) .

That said, I am still a bit unhappy with the peer-to-peer comparison results.